Try Something New for 2010

I was talking to a co-worker the other day and she mentioned that while she was out grabbing a drink with one of her girlfriends, she saw a guy that caught her eye. So naturally, I asked did she say anything to him? Her response was one that I've heard many many times. "No, I don't approach guys....I think it should be up to a guy to approach a girl. I guess I'm just old fashioned like that."

Ladies what is this about? I don't understand this at all. It's shocking to me that in as we're about to enter 2010 there are still some women out there who deliberately choose not to approach a guy and then hide behind the idea that they're just "too old fashioned" to approach a guy, like we still live in the 1960's. Women have fought for so long to get equal rights and get rid of the idea that women belong at home in the kitchen instead of in the workplace.

It just amazes me how there are some women out there who feel that it's still solely a man's responsibility to approach a woman and show interest. How can you choose to be modernized in every other aspect of life except when it comes to interest in a guy?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but being "old fashioned" like that is part of the reason that these women are still single and hoping that "Mr. Right" just falls from the sky and lands on your couch....you have to be proactive. That means you can't always wait around for a guy to approach you.

Part of the problem is the way the media portrays a woman who's slightly aggressive. The media tends to paint a woman who initiates approaches a man, or ask for his number or asks him out, as extremely desperate, when that's not necessarily the case. Why is it that a woman is desperate if she sees a guy that she likes and acts on those feelings?

I personally see nothing wrong with a woman stepping up if she's interested in a man and openly acknowledging that. Now there are some who have no clue how to be subtle about this type of situation and are extremely too blunt, which in turn makes it seem like their biological clock is ticking. Be easy about it, don't rush into it, and try not to be too eager. If you can do that you'll find that approaching a guy really isn't that difficult.

Speaking from experience, it's always a nice change of pace to be approached by a woman. Sometimes guys ego's need to be stroked....and that is one good way to do that. Being totally honest with you, most men will be intrigued by the fact that you actually chose to approach us because it doesn't happen all that often. And if a man is intrigued by you....he's more likely to respond favorably to you.

You greatly increase your chances of meeting nice guys and potentially finding "Mr. Right" when you don't sit back and wait to be approached. Take the initiative to approach someone and you'll see that positive things can and eventually will happen.

I've been to that point where I've been tired of doing all the pursuing, even if I saw a girl that did catch my attention....I decided I just wasn't going to say anything. Most guys will or have gotten to that place at some point in time, mostly because guys get tired of doing the pursuing and having nothing sustainable come out of it. So ask yourself ladies isn't it about time to get in the game instead of sitting on the sidelines?

Perfect example of this........MY WIFE. We met through friends, and since I knew she knew people that were friends of mine, I was sure that I'd see her again...aka...there's no need for me to press her for her number right now. She approached me at the end of the night and said..."You were just going to leave without getting my number?" I took her number and gave her mine....but she caught me off guard and intrigued me at the same time. Now over five years after that night, we're approaching our four year anniversary (June 10, 2010).

I wrote this just to give you a little insight into a man's mind. Yes, men do get tired of doing all the pursuing, so give a guy a break for a chance and approach him. Try it out starting in 2010. My bet is, the fact that you approached him and showed interest, will win you points for being different than what he's used to and it'll start things off in a fresh new direction for both you and him.

Strive to implement this for 2010 and see how much more fulfilling things can be when you take a chance, get in the game and stop letting old antiquated thinking stop you from possibly meeting a really nice guy.

Here's to a Successful Relationship in 2010

J. Earl Smith
@Jsmith2523 on Twitter