Common Misconceptions About Men

Ladies.....I'm going to break the "man-code" a little bit and clue you all in on something. Ultimately, men want the same things in life & love as you do. Not everyone is going to agree with this or like what I have to say....but you can't please all the people all the time.

Men really do want the same things as women. They just tend to want them at a little different pace than women usually do. They say that women mature sooner than men do, and I'd have to agree with that. That's why it kills me when I see beautiful women involved in the game playing that young men (young in mentality) do. Men do want the same things, but we usually want them after we've gotten all the "play" out of our system. It's not really fair for us to ask a woman to wait for us to have all that "player" feel out of our system, but in essence that's what us men do on a regular basis.

It saddens me to see so many beautiful women saying there aren't any good men out there, when there are literally millions of them if you just look in the right places. Men may get mad at me for this but, you're typically not going to find Mr. Right or Prince Charming in a crowded club. This is one of the first mistakes that I see with people in general. Everyone thinks that the "movie scene" is going to literally come true for them. You all know what I mean....guy sees girl from across the club, their eyes meet, they drift toward each other, dance, kiss, and that night they fall in love and spend the rest of their lives together.

Let's get that misconception out of the way right now. Clubs are hunting ground to men, not a place where they're going to find true love. Men go to clubs for one of two reasons....1) They genuinely wanted to hear some good music or 2) They're looking for a girl they can have some "fun" with. Sad to say, but it's usually the latter. Men don't usually care about the music in a club, they go because that's where the women are. I can tell you from a lot of the guys I grew up with, most guys plans and intentions is to buy a girl drinks until she's tipsy enough to throw caution to the wind and make a bad decision and go home with them. Why do you think that most men in the club just come up behind a woman and start grinding on her? NO RESPECT!!!! But what do you expect from young minded individuals who's forethought goes no further than who they'll be taking home that night.

Ladies....is this the kind of guy you want? I don't think it is! However, that's what most women put up with consistently. (We'll discuss those types of men in depth in a future blog) If women would demand that they be respected, men would have no choice and would have to show more respect. And a more respectful man is always something that a lady would like to have. This is not to say that all men are like this currently.....but it is safe to say that at some point and time they were like this. So ladies what you need to do is go other places. Try meeting people in other public places. A lounge might be a better place to find a mature guy who's done with the game playing. Before anyone says it, lounges aren't the same as clubs. They're usually less crowded and the music isn't as loud, which can lend to better opportunities to hold conversation. Which is the best way to begin getting to know someone. My advice....ladies, leave the club for a while. They're cool for an eventful night out, but not ideal for finding/cultivating a relationship.

As I was saying before, men do want the same things. You just have to make sure that they're not young in mind. Notice I didn't say anything about their age. This is because age really doesn't mean anything. It's someones mentality that determines whether they're "too young" or not. I know plenty of people who were mature at 19/20 and ready for a committed relationship. I'm one of them....I'm almost 26 and have been happily married for almost 4 years now....meaning I got married at 22. People told me I was too young, but mentally I was ready. We've been committed for almost 6 years (we dated for 1 year and were engaged for 1 year before getting married) and neither of us has ever strayed....why? Because we both had the same mindset and were both mature and ready for that level of commitment.

Regardless of what guys say to their friends, deep down inside every guy want to have that special someone at some point in their life. Deep down inside every man fears being that "old creepy" guy in the club, who looks like he's still living in the 70's, trying to pick up 20 somethings. Seeing him is always the cure-all when we think we want to stay single.

Men do get bored going on date after date and not really feeling any connection. There's no substance there and that's what loses our attention another thing that causes us to lose interest is if we're allowed too much affection too soon. If a guy gets "it" on the first night....chances are he's not going to call you in the morning. Even though we say we will.....we won't because we have nothing more to aspire to with that girl. Guys like mystery, although we'll never openly admit it, we like when a girl plays hard to get. We like it when we have to work for a girl. In the infamous words of Tupac Shakur: "hate to sound sleazy, but tease me, I don't want it if it's that easy."

Guys get tired of telling the same old stories again and again to a new prospect. It's not a funny story after you've told it for the 30th, 40th, 50th time. That generic conversation gets quite boring and men, just like women....DO NEED and are looking for a deeper connection.

Most men really want to be monogamous, however, most of them don't have the intestinal fortitude to do so. The media portrays a "successful" man as living a flashy lifestyle and bedding many women and people feed into that as what the norm should be. Deep down inside though, most men don't agree with that stereotype and would actually prefer a serious committed relationship with one person that they can share their hopes and dreams with. It just takes more men to start standing up and acting on what they truly feel is right, and things just might take a turn for the better.

Most men do want families. They do want their name to live on, they do want to build a legacy, they do want children to carry on their names. Most men just don't want to start thinking about that as soon as they're in a relationship. It's not wrong to talk about it, at least to make sure you're both on the same page....but wait a little while before doing so. Talking about it too soon makes most men think that a woman's biological clock is ticking and that they'll be looking to get pregnant REAL soon.

Like I said before, a lot of people won't agree with everything I've said here. But that's their right. I'm just voicing my opinion and trying to help people wake up and realize the mistakes a lot of us make and the misconceptions we have about the opposite sex.

J. Earl Smith
@JSmith2523 on Twitter