Forgiveness! Is it Warranted....if so, When?

OK, I've heard many different people voice their opinions about a popular r&b artist who apparently has temper/anger control issues. Too many people (in my opinion) are defending his actions and saying that his violent outbursts are other people's fault. I'm not saying that the line of questioning in this most recent outburst had nothing to do with it happening...but as @MrEdLover would say "C'MON SON!!!" How long are people (usually devoted fans) going to make up excuses for Chris Brown? How long is Chris Brown going to have outbursts like this and think that a simple apology on a popular music video show is going to make everything OK?

Now....as one black man to another, I'm not trying to tear down Chris Brown like some kind of "crab in a barrel", but in all honesty...with no hate involved...Chris Brown does need some serious help. His reaction to the questions that Robin Roberts asked him regarding the whole Rhianna situation on Good Morning America was totally unnecessary and inappropriate! That kind of childish temper tantrum because you don't like the kind of questions that were asked is exactly the reason why I feel that he's going to continue making bad decisions and won't reach his full potential.

Regardless of whether he was asked whether he could be questioned about that incident or not, his management team has a share in blame for this happening! It's his management team's responsibility to prepare him mentally that these are the kinds of questions you're going to get when you go on an official show like a "Good Morning America". If he didn't want to get real introspective questions....he should have gone on MTV where they would have kept the questions strictly about the album. I don't believe that Robin Roberts has any fault in the incident that happened at the Good Morning America studios on Tuesday. She was doing her job just like any one of us would have done if we were asking the questions. So everyone trying to throw blame toward Ms. Roberts....please STOP!

But this leads me to another issue...where are the positive older black men that can and should be mentoring Chris Brown during this difficult time? I understand that there's a certain level of anger in most every black man for the difficult times that we face and the unequal treatment that we tend to receive, even when we're told that we're being given equal opportunities. Everyone knows that equal opportunity doesn't necessarily define itself and isn't exactly self-explanatory, but that's a whole other issue. What I'm getting at is this....where are the positive black men in the entertainment industry who could sit down with Chris Brown and help him really get his anger issues under control? I think about the way that former NFL Coach Tony Dungy reached out to and was there for Michael Vick during his trials and re-entrance back into society. And we all see how that's worked out. Vick is playing great football and has kept his nose clean for the most part, and part of that credit should go to Coach Dungy for his help in tutoring Vick how to grow up and be a man as well as how to keep those negative influences out of his life. Dungy also helped Vick learn how to react when posed with those difficult questions even when he didn't really want to answer those questions.

Bottom line....Chris Brown needs to find his Tony Dungy! Maybe Russell Simmons can help Brown the way Dungy helped Vick. Simmons sat down with Chris Brown on Wednesday night and spoke with him on various subjects. Hopefully Simmons taking an interest in Brown will lead to some positive character improvements in Brown that can help keep his name out of the limelight for the wrong reasons.

Russell Simmons story here: http://globalgrind.com/music/chris-brown-when-fame-snatches-your-freedom-russell-simmons

I do believe that forgiveness is warranted....but the offender's actions must show that it's deserved!

Remember...."You're Worth It"

J. Earl Smith
www.smashwords.com/books/view/24495
@JSmith2523 on Twitter
knourworth@hotmail.com

Real Men.....Are There Any Left???

I came across a disturbing story over the weekend that really made me question what's happening to the male gender in this day and age! Apparently, there's a growing rise of men who feel that it's okay to put their hands on women if they get into an argument with or feel they've been disrespected by said women.

In this particular story (which had a video) there was a young man and young woman in Atlanta, riding the bus who were arguing. I don't believe they knew each other, and didn't exactly catch what they were arguing about, but the guy was upset because the lady sitting in the seat in front of him apparently was (in his words) "getting in his business" while he was talking to another woman on the bus. The argument escalated and the guy stood up and addressed the woman who then stood up as well.

I thought that would be the end of it....some jawing back and forth, some expletives spewed toward one another.....but I didn't expect the guy to actually punch the woman in the face. Fortunately for her, there was an actual MAN on the bus as well who wasn't going to let that kind of action be tolerated. We'll call the man who intervened the "Good Samaritan"....because it would have been quite simple for him to turn a blind eye and not get involved....after all, it really was none of his business. But did he do that? No....he stepped up and promptly and physically intervened. Now....I'm not agreeing with his physically attacking the first guy, but in that scenario....I can't really say that I wouldn't have reacted in the same or similar fashion. I try to keep a level head and keep my temper under control....but violence toward women is one thing that makes my blood boil.

But how those types of things affect me is not really what this post is about. I want to try to figure out what's happened or is happening to our gender that would make them think that putting their hands on women is acceptable or even justifiable. I don't care what a woman says or does, no man has the right to put his hands on a woman. But what prompts or drives a man to act in such a cowardly way? In my opinion it stems from a lack of self-esteem in these men. They're insecure in themselves and thus feel the need to lash out when they perceive they're being confronted, challenged, or disrespected. Now these confrontations, challenges, or acts of disrespect aren't always necessarily actual. Sometimes these are perceived in their minds because they don't feel great about themselves personally.

Men who put their hands on women are the lowest being on the surface of the earth and there's one thing I've noticed with men who act in this manor....they rarely will "man up" and verbally confront....let alone physically confront another man who they feel has disrespected. Because they know that a real man....who's fighting for something worthwhile and not behaving like a punk....will always win out!

I never got a good look at the losers face in the video....but from his cowardly attack on a woman I can only say that justice was served when the "Good Samaritan" intervened and dealt with him like a man. Little boys throw temper tantrums and react out of emotion or allow what people may say to incite them to cowardly acts of violence. What ever happened to "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?" When, where, and why did that line of reasoning ever die? A real man knows that although from a literal sense...words can actually hurt; words can and should have little control over his emotions regardless of what anyone may say.....whether that be a man or a woman....he should be able to act in a dignified manner at all times.

So again....I ask REAL MEN.....ARE THERE ANY LEFT? Yes apparently there are (the man who defended the woman in the video) but they're slowly becoming an extinct species. Men......any REAL MEN who read this post....please pass it along....it's time for us REAL MEN to STAND UP and teach these immature, classless, disrespectful cowards what it means to be a MAN. Being a man isn't just a gender....it's in how you carry yourself and the way in which you deal with situations. And quite frankly.....most of these young punks don't know how to deal with crap!

Hopefully this post makes its way in front of the eyes of the punk from the bus and if it does, I have a special message for him. You need to grow up! You're not a man....your actions show that you are an immature, disrespectful, sorry little boy....and you definitely got what you deserved for putting your hands on that woman. That's all!!!

Ladies....please don't give up hope....there are still some good men out there. You just have to look.

Remember....You're Worth It!

J. Earl Smith
www.smashwords.com/books/view/24495
@JSmith2523 on Twitter
knourworth@hotmail.com