The Curse of Being Black

This is in no way me saying that I don't love being a black man. Because I do. There's a sense of pride that we have, where no matter how badly someone may treat us, it won't break our spirit. I don't see that in many other races or nationalities. But before I go in on this Trayvon Martin case happening in Sanford Florida, let me make this disclaimer:

These are my views, influenced by my personal experiences with racist individuals, ignorant police officers, and the like. If you don't appreciate or can't understand where I'm coming from...try opening your eyes and see the disparity that exists between how races other than whites are treated here in America.

I won't into my whole back story as to what's happened to me in the past, I'll just give a cursory explanation. I've been profiled by police, pulled over for no other reason than being black in a nice vehicle. I've been pulled from my vehicle when asked what I was doing in a nice neighborhood (which was only about 3 blocks away from my house), I've had all my belongings pulled from my car and thrown on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike because I matched the description of someone of "interest". I've been called nigger to my face and behind my back...I've been called every kind of derogatory name you can think of for black people in the 28 years I've been alive. So now you understand where I'm coming from.

I'm not a political person...and in my opinion the issues facing Sanford Florida right now and by extension the entire country aren't of a political nature. This comes down to one thing (in my opinion), a white man feeling he has the RIGHT to demand information from a black man because he feels he is superior to him. Let's get that notion out of the way right now....whites are NOT superior to blacks...and by me saying that, I'm not saying that blacks are superior to whites. Why can't we all just BE? Why does there have to be a distinction as to who is superior and who is inferior?

In all seriousness....who appointed George Zimmerman as the Police, Judge, Jury, and Executioner in that neighborhood? He volunteered to be a neighborhood watchmen...which means he's not even supposed to be carrying a gun! Which means he's not supposed to approach anyone who may look "suspicious". He's supposed to call 911 if he sees a crime happening or about to happen. THAT'S IT! Did he listen to the 911 operator who said..."sir we don't need you to follow him"? No...he took the law into his own hands, pursued his "suspect" and ended up killing him.

Now...I'm not saying that Trayvon's girlfriend's statement is 100% accurate...because she's probably really shaken up by what's happened. But shouldn't she get the benefit of the doubt that what she's told authorities is the truth? I mean...if you listen to the 911 tapes....you can clearly hear someone in the background SCREAMING for their life....so if Trayvon had a headset in and was on the phone with his girlfriend...don't you think it makes sense that she could hear Zimmerman approaching and asking what Trayvon was doing "in this neighborhood"? Makes sense to me.

Zimmerman went vigilante and decided that because he'd never seen Trayvon before...he must be one of the "a***oles who always get away", that may have been the culprit of some break-ins that had happened in the past 8-12 months. Just because that's what he assumed...does that make it right? His actions, his words when speaking with the 911 operator and his direct disregard for the 911 operator's direction to "NOT" follow Trayvon lead me to believe that he had every intention of making sure that this "suspicious looking" guy wouldn't even have the opportunity to do something wrong. He sounded calm on the 911 call, but if he was scared of what this "suspicious guy" might do...why follow him? He wasn't scared...because he knew he had his 9mm pistol on him and was ready to use it....yet he says that he acted in self-defense....and according the "stand your ground" law in Florida...he's justified???

That law doesn't apply when you go after someone! That law is meant to protect those who may be sitting in their car and someone tries to carjack them...in that instance they're allowed to meet force with force and not face prosecution! Or if someone breaks into their home and they feel threatened...they can react with deadly force if need be. Those instances are nothing like this case....Trayvon was 17 years old, weight 140 pounds and was walking to his home...just because he had a hoodie on he's suspicious looking? Do you know how many people wear hoodies on a daily basis? Let's not forget that it was raining that night in Sanford...and the hoodie was the only protection Trayvon had from the rain.

It seems to me that when Zimmerman trailed Trayvon and began questioning what he was doing in "his neighborhood", and Trayvon didn't answer...or responded by asking why Zimmerman was following him....Mr. NRA decided to take matters into his own hands and chase Trayvon. A scuffle ensues and then you can hear Trayvon screaming, crying, begging for his life....then a gunshot and silence!

hoodie with the hood up? We'll probably never know the real reason as to why George Zimmerman killed Trayvon Martin in cold blood. We'll definitely never know if the crooked Sanford Police Department continues to be in charge of the investigation!

People like Glenn Beck and Geraldo Rivera are absolutely absurd and shouldn't even be given a platform to speak on. Beck said that Martin was probably a dangerous individual....and Rivera went so far as to say that Trayvon's wearing a hoodie is what got him killed and if he'd been dressed more appropriately...he probably wouldn't have been killed! I say those things are a bunch of crap! Because there are people who get shot and killed for mistaken identity by the police all the time. Think about Sean Bell...who got killed when he got into the car with his friends leaving a strip club in NY...were there any weapons found? NO! What about Amadou Diallo...he had a black wallet in his hand...and a cop yelled gun...and the shooting started.

Is a black life that invaluable that not only can police pull you over, arrest you, search your property illegally, or even shoot you if you make the slightest flinch....but now rent-a-cops can do so too? Not even just a black life.....a life in general...let's take the race out of this for a second...if this had been a Puerto Rican kid...shot by a black man....would it make it any less tragic? Not in my opinion! The race isn't the true issue to me....it's the feeling of self-entitlement that George Zimmerman felt he deserved to know who Trayvon was and what he was doing in the neighborhood.

However....we can't dismiss race altogether because of the times we live in and because things like this continue to happen. If the shoe were on the other foot and Jeremiah Jackson a middle aged black man had shot Eric Taylor...a young white boy who was dressed just like Trayvon....it saddens me to know without a doubt that Mr. Jackson wouldn't be at home with his family right now....he'd be in prison awaiting trial!

Things won't get better until precedents are set in the treatment of African Americans. We're not second class citizens...regardless of any stereotypes or bigotry or hatred that anyone may be raised with in their heart. We're in 2012 not 1952....and although we as a black people....no we as a society have made many improvements, by leaps and bounds....we STILL HAVE SO FAR TO GO!

Protection from Underpaying Insurance Companies

In this day and age having insurance is an absolute necessity. Although many of us feel insurance is a racket, aren't we grateful that we had it when we truly needed it? Let me ask you a question…how many of people are affected by natural disasters every year? How many homes are broken into on a regular basis? Hopefully you've never had to experience the empty feeling of losing everything you own to a hurricane, tornado, house fire or someone breaking into your home. 

However, those who’ve had to struggle through that type of situation know how difficult it is going through that emotionally. What’s even more difficult though is dealing with the insurance companies who provide protection from many forms of property loss, but force traumatized individuals to spend countless hours scratching their heads trying to itemize the property they’ve lost while at the same time doing everything they can to minimize those values to mitigate what they have to pay out to their own customer. 

Is there any resource out there that protects consumers from insurance companies placing minimal values on their possessions that may have been lost due to fire, natural disaster, or theft? I don't think there is, BUT THERE SOON WILL BE!

More info to come very shortly!!!

Being A Man

There are too many young men these days who are being overly nurtured. They're growing up with a complex and horrible misunderstanding of what it truly means to be a man. The over-nurturing is causing these young men to grow into babies who are too afraid to discontinue their foolish actions and grow up. These misguided individuals believe that showing emotion makes a man soft. Therefore young men begin suppressing their emotions because by societal standards...showing emotions make you weak or less of a man. Showing no emotion according to society is what defines a man's masculinity. Simply stated, one suppressing their emotions is being fake and if someone is being fake or not maintaining their own integrity, how can they truly call themselves a man? There is no place for a man to be what's considered MOIST. Being MOIST is when a seemingly hetero man has homosexual tendencies or participates in suspect actions. ( wearing skinny jeans, nails, murse's, feminine hairstyles, etc.) These things are not conducive or tolerable for a man. In the end being a man comes down to truth and integrity. A man must stay true to who they are. Don't conform to the societal stigmas. If you're monogamous, be that to the core. Don't try to be something you're not because if you do, you begin to lose a true sense o your self and start slowly turning into the anti-man!

Atlantic Auto Brokers in Orlando Florida

I bought a 2002 Chrysler Sebring from them and subsequently had nothing but trouble from the day I bought it. Approximately 5 hours after I bought the car, it shut down on me on a major road with my wife and 6 month old son in the car and we were almost rear ended by a big truck. Come to find out the head gasket had blown, the water pump malfunctioned and was pumping water into the engine which was mixing with the oil, this on the day I buy the car.

They don't offer any warranties, but I wasn't going to let my $2,900 go to waste without demanding they fix the car since they obviously didn't do their job up front in making sure the car worked properly. They towed the car for me and had it for a week with multiple deadline guarantees as to when the car would be ready to pick up. At 1:30pm on Friday Jose tells me "they're almost done, and I could come pick up the car around 5pm.” I get there at 5 to find out that the mechanic (who's not Jose) needs another 4 hours to finish putting everything back together, and could I come back on Saturday to pick it up.

At this point I tell them I'm just going to have my tow truck come and pick it up and tow it somewhere that I know it'll get fixed right because they're taking entirely too long even though they were fixing it out of their pocket. At this point the owner Elias Samaan, starts yelling at me from in his office that if I demand to take the vehicle or I rush them to get it done and then I take the vehicle and something else is wrong that they weren't taking any more responsibility because I rushed them to get done. I bet if I had towed it to a Tires Plus or El Doctor Auto in Longwood, I would have had to pay for it, but it'd been done in less time.

After agreeing to come back Saturday, I arrive and they're standing outside with the convertible top down and the car running. It sounded good, time for a test drive. As I pull out the belts are screaming every time I touch the accelerator. So I go down the street and pull into a parking lot and check under the hood and the belts look horrible, like they put some used belts in there and on top of that, there’s anti-freeze spewing from the reservoir over everything. When I questioned him (Jose) about it he got all defensive and again said, "that's normal", to which I said, "that's crap!" I asked if I could speak to the mechanic myself regarding whether the anti-freeze spraying everywhere was normal and if he spoke English because I’d only heard him speak Spanish. Jose lost it and called me racist and offensive. I meant no harm or to offend anyone, but Jose got so offended that he went into the office and came out with a check (dated the day before) for my $2,900 and smacked it into my hand and made me take my money back. At that point, he knew he wasn’t going to get over on me.

There are many people who may read this and say that I got my money back so I shouldn't be trashing these guy's business. Well, I'm trying to save someone from going through the hell that I went through because they may not fair the same as myself. Also, there were no warning signs or reviews out there about these guys who are out just to steal people's hard earned money.

Elias Samaan (owner) is a snake who's just out to make a quick buck. He doesn't care about the welfare of his customers. He'll tell you..."I've been in this business for 22 years and I'm out to buy a customer, not just sell a car." If he truly cared about gaining or retaining customers he'd properly inspect vehicles before trying to sell them to the public. He's not going to change his ways until he's forced to or a vehicle he sold has a massive mechanical failure and someone loses their life.

I'd recommend not walking but running the other direction AS FAST AS YOU CAN. Because you'll regret buying a car from them for the rest of your life.

I would have reported them to the BBB, but they're not an accredited business through the BBB.

Atlantic Auto Brokers

616 W. Michigan Street

Orlando, FL 32805

407-487-1913

Don't Push Me.....I'm Close to the Edge

Yesterday afternoon a co-worker came to me and told me that the VP of the company made a sarcastic comment regarding the "engineering department" being to work on time. Now...I understand she's the VP of the company...and she has the right to say whatever she wants....but wouldn't it be smarter to know what you're talking about before making any kind of comments!!!

She made those comments to a co-worker yesterday in front of the President of the company which makes me look bad...like I'm just coming in whatever time I want to. When that is in no way the case! If she had done her due diligence and spoke to my direct supervisor than she would have known that my supervisor and I came to a resolution of what my NEW schedule is going to be since I have to either pick up or drop off my son at daycare everyday.

The VP is upset because she wasn't kept in the loop as to my schedule...but in all reality...I don't have to relay that information to her. I don't have any dealings with her and if she had a question about my schedule...why wouldn't she ask my direct supervisor about it? The co-worker who brought this to my attention told me because the VP also made a comment about starting to doc "engineering's" pay for not being here at the mandated times.

So in an attempt to be proactive, I decided to forward the VP copies of the emails between myself and my supervisor stipulating my new work schedule. Did I need to do that? NO! And my supervisor said the same thing....her exact words were..."It's none of her freaking business what your schedule is! If she had questions about your hours....she should come to me....".

You see.....it's not just me wanting to be out of this company...the way this company operates is completely backwards! You have people in certain positions overstepping their bounds, racially motivated comments made in jest...and to top it all off...none of us are paid according to our true value. It's all good....for now I have to continue doing what's necessary to provide for my family....which involves dealing with the ridiculous crap that happens at this company....but hopefully I won't be here much longer.

**UPDATE**

When I forwarded those emails to the VP I made sure to put a read receipt on them, and sure enough I got read receipt messages in my inbox around 1pm today. Has she acknowledged the emails? Has she responded to them with even the slightest sense of understanding or appreciation for the fact that I divulged to her the reasons behind my needing to alter my schedule? (Although...seeing as she's not my direct supervisor...I didn't have to inform her of anything if I didn't want to.) NO! She doesn't acknowledge the emails, she doesn't respond to them, she doesn't say thank you for letting me know....even a sarcastic remark would have sufficed....because that's what I expect from her anyway. But I didn't even get that. What did I get? I got icy looks, the cold shoulder, ignored, however you want to put it...that's what I got. Even when I went so far as to say hello to her...she didn't even speak. In my opinion...that's just RUDE!

How can you consider yourself an adult and not acknowledge someone saying hello to you or even acknowledge the fact that they sent you an email? How childish do you have to be to allow the fact that you weren't kept in the loop (although it's not a loop you were supposed to be kept in) to affect you that deeply that you can't even muster the common decency to speak to someone when they speak to you? Bottom line...I'm done going above and beyond for this company. I come in early when needed, I stay late when needed....I deliver drawings and packages in my own vehicle when needed...but the second I need a little cooperation in my schedule...I get attitude from a higher up who really has NO say in whether that adjustment can be made to my schedule. As a matter of fact....I'm done worrying about her antics and how she's behaved like a child throughout this situation. In the long run....I'll get the last laugh.

A Little Irritated

Why is it that whenever you try to take a step forward...something happens to send you a few steps back? I know it can't be just me who endures things like this! Something has got to give...trying to make moves to better take care of my family and it just seems like everyday presents a new struggle and a different mountain to climb. Lord give me a sign that I'm at least moving in the right direction!

Daycare

Today is the first day that my son went to day care....and what made it worse is that I wasn't able to be there for it. Because of my job, I wasn't afforded the opportunity to be there to drop him off. Some may ask why is a three month old be dropped off at daycare? Well the simple answer is that we can't afford for my wife to NOT work. So until that time comes, the wife has to get back to work this week, which means little man has to be placed in daycare. The daycare he's going to is an official one....not just someone watching him. This woman does this as a business and has been for the last 15 years. She only takes 1 baby at a time and at the most only has 6 children in her care at any one time. So my son will be the only baby she has. I'm confident that he's going to be OK, and that she's going to take care of him as if he were her own son. At the same time though...I wish I didn't have to send him to daycare. I think about how things could have been if we'd still be in Delaware. Mainly I think about how things could have been if I'd worked harder at my last job in Delaware where I was making more than enough money to provide for my family without my wife working. Unfortunately, I put the fact that I got laid off from that job somewhat on my own shoulders. Oh how different things would have been had we had our son in Delaware while I was making that kind of money. Now being here in Florida, while I do love it here, the weather is awesome, as are the beaches, but the rates of pay for employees down here isn't even close to commensurate with an employees skills.

I guess that's just the way things are and I'll have to live with it. But anyone who knows me, knows that I won't just leave it as it is and keep mindlessly working toward fulfilling someone else's dreams like I am now with the current company with whom I'm employed. Soon....and I mean VERY SOON....I'll be working toward my own dream and be able to provide for my family in a way that means I won't have to rely on someone outside of my home watching my son during the day. My wife will be able to be at home for him. That's a guarantee!!!

Remember..."You're Worth It!"

J. Earl Smith
@JSmith2523 on Twitter
knourworth@hotmail.com
www.smashwords.com/books/view/24495